I'm gonna comfort eat 1000 calories of healthy food . . .

Then tomorrow I plan to just have fruit and veg, and see how long that goes.  I thought I was over stupid plans like that, and I'll probably give up in half a day, but I'm just sad . . .

That stupid cat was the only thing that stopped me killing myself for the past two years, because he was the only living thing that I believed actually needed me . . . come home.

I know I don't have my priorities straight, but all I want is him is him to come home.  I would give up anything for that to happen.  I would get fat, if only I had him back.  Bargaining time with God has started . . .

I'm so silly to be upset already, it's been like a day . . .

Anyway, apart from that I am ok . . .

But my grandmother is dying and all I can think about is why the cat isn't back yet . . . and what I'll eat today . . . I have my priorities straight. 

I'm feeling anxious and a bit breathless right now.  I could be commenting people on PA but I think I should just go offline and try to sleep.  Being on here is making me feel fatter and more triggered every minute.  When I start thinking about going on a 7 day fast for "health reasons", I know I'm not thinking clearly . . 

If you could be another person for a day, who would it be and why?

Maybe I'd be president of Idaho; everyone taller than me would be fed to wolves.

Tags: another person, writer's block